The song was written in forty minutes. It was reportedly offered to Beyonce and Adele, who turned it down. So the author (in collaboration with Kevin Kadish), recorded it herself. The rest is history. Following its release in June 2014, “All About That Bass” became a cultural phenomenon, reaching number one in nineteen countries and generating well over two billion views for the accompanying video, along with endless buzz. Not least among the reasons for its astounding success is the most obvious one — the tune is maddeningly catchy. But behind the hoopla was a perfect storm of deeply felt issues involving body image, self-assertion, and the evolution of intimate tastes.
As day follows night, a host of parodies ensued. A few were direct send-ups, most famously one by Bob Barker featuring a grotesque Meghan Trainor caricature spewing venom at “thin people.” Most of the imitations, however, co-opted the song for unrelated purposes. There was a Star Trek version (“All About Deep Space. No Tribbles”) and a Harry Potter version (“All About That Magic. No Muggles”). Some boosted sports teams (“All About the Saints. No Cowboys”) or private businesses (“All About That Brace” by Showtime Orthodontics — not to be confused with “We’re Taking Off That Brace” by Mori Orthodontics). There were occasional commentaries on political issues: “He’s Just a Pretty Face” (an attack on Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau”), “All About That Hill. No Donald” (total views to date under 450 — an omen), and even “Police Will Shoot You in the Face.” Two different videos were made by women advocating the practice of breast-feeding (“All About That Breast” and “All About That Boob”). Two others poked fun at Bill Cosby’s legal difficulties (both entitled “All About That Rape”). Several focused on fishing (“All About That Bass. Same Spelling,” “All About That Bass. No Minnows,” etc). And there were further permutations I could never have imagined: “I Go to Palengke” touts Filipino street markets; “All Aboot the Toon,” sung in the Geordie dialect, celebrates the Tyneside region of Northeastern England.
Of the many versions I have sampled as a dogged investigator, however, this is the one that sticks in my mind. And not in a good way:
Nor is “All About That Christ” the only one of its type. Religious parodies of the song comprise an entire sub-genre. In “All About That Gift,” someone dressed as Jesus proclaims, “Yeah, it’s pretty clear, I’m not your average Jew/’Cause I can walk on water, Like no one else can do.” “All About That Faith” advises: “My pastor he told me don’t worry about your past/’Cause when Jesus was hung on the cross he took care of that.” And we haven’t even gotten to the dozen or more different recordings entitled, “All About That Grace,” including specifically Calvinist, Lutheran, and Catholic versions. One informs us that “every inch of you is covered in His life-redeeming blood.” In another, the singers protest that they “won’t be no satanic black magic Voodoo doll.” And there are more esoteric debates:
Yeah, you Papists can act like the favor of GOD is for sale.
It’s true it was costly, but it was all paid with three nails.
And I was reading Ephesians and it really seemed pretty clear
That GOD elected those with whom he decides to draw near.
Other traditions have found inspiration in the same source. Two different videos tell us it’s “All About That Book” of Mormon. “All About Those Pins” encourages wearing the hijab. “You Know it’s a Disgrace” is a finger-wagging, feminist Purimspiel told from the vantage point of Vashti (see Esther 1:9-19). And near the bottom of the barrel, we find:
Back in the day, the devout may have been reluctant to promote their faith by piggybacking on a pop song about posteriors. No longer. But a deeper logic may be at play. In his story “The Zahir,” Jorge Borges imagines an object that takes different forms — a coin in Buenos Aires, in “Gujarat, at the end of the eighteenth century … a tiger” — but whose essential characteristic is that it totally preoccupies those who fall under its sway. The spellbound narrator concludes with the hope that “by thinking about the Zahir unceasingly, I can manage to wear it away; perhaps behind the coin is God.” In their own way, these videos reflect the same hope. Which is another way of saying that, perhaps for a season, Meghan Trainor’s [b]ass was the Zahir of our time.
